Sunday, August 8, 2010

Mr. Summer....don't ever end!!!

Dear Sisters,

I remember I used to HATE summer. I hated the heat, I hated the humidity. I hated shopping for a swimsuit. ( I KNOW I am not alone with that one). I have learned to LOVE summer. My husband (the teacher) is home every day to help me! Last summer wasnt great for me. Newborn twins, and being a first time mom, I had NO clue what I was doing. I was going through PPD and later found out I got pregnant 11 weeks after the twins. ( Ok, peer pressure... but we wont go into that LOL).

I am loving every day of summer because I am able to have ADULT conversations for a change on a daily basis. I have someone who doesnt mind changing 3 poopy diapers at once living with me! I have company and companionship. I can even leave for short periods of time ALONE if I want to. But most importantly, I am without the company of my 11 year old step son who loathes me. The weight has been lifted, I feel a sense of pleasure and happiness. I can smile and be happy, without having to deal with the horrible mean drama EVERY day. What did I ever do to this precious child you ask? Nothing except marry his father and have 3 other children. See, my stepson resided with his mother for the last 10 years in another country. He would only visit the states every summer and every other christmas. So everytime he came, it was a major vacation. But as we know, "real life" isnt like that. He wasnt to happy when he came to live with us and things were reversed. Who does he take it out on? me.

As the summer winds down, I am NOT looking forward to the return of this person. I am not looking forward to the stress it will cause in my house or what it does to my husband. I wish summer could last forever. But reality is setting in and I need to find alternative ways to deal with the hatred this child has for me and for these 3 innocent babies. I need to be at peace with myself and my life. I love this child and although he harbors such loathing for me, I must remember that even though it hurts, he is still someone's child. Never in my whole life did I ever think someone would refer to ME as a wicked stepmother!

1 comment:

  1. Awwww...So sorry Nicole! Maybe your hubby can get him into some counceling this year? It sounds like he needs to process his feelings instead of just putting it all on you. For some reason your patience is being tested in a HUGE way. Be easy on yourself. <3