Saturday, September 4, 2010

What I Missed, Love and Look Forward To...

What I missed

Before I had you, I lost two sweet babies. I was never able to truly relax and enjoy the pregnancy because I always thought: what if it happens again? For that, I’m sorry Max. I’m sorry Madeline.

You had to share from the moment you were in my tummy and when you entered the world, your time with me had to be shared with each other and sweet big sister. For that, I’m sorry Madeline. I’m sorry Max.

I tend to see the two of you as a pair. For my own sanity, I put you on the same sleeping and eating schedule. You never had a chance to be your own baby. For that, I’m sorry Max. I’m sorry Madeline.

What I love

That even though I feel guilty about too little time with each of you, I couldn’t imagine my life any other way than it is now. The experience of being a mom to twins is one I wouldn’t trade for the world. It has taught me so much about my own strength and determination.

I love that you both have taught me children are forgiving and forever loving; even to an imperfect mom like me.

I love that you were the two little people God chose to complete our family.

What I look forward to…

Every day with my dear Madeline is a gift.
I look forward to seeing your sweet smile and hearing your husky laugh every day. Watching you as you watch me. When you put your pouty lip out, you always make sure I notice. I do. I always notice you.

As you grow…
I look forward to seeing you experience all new things life has to offer you. I cherish each day that I see you growing, thriving and living on this Earth.

Every day with my sweet Max is a little piece of heaven.
I look forward to seeing your bright eyes; shining with delight and love for all those around you. Right now you think I hung the moon…the feeling is most definitely mutual. I love the moments through out the day where you look up at me with your beautiful smile; checking to make sure I’m still there. I’ll always be there for you.

As you grow…
I look forward to seeing you explore the world around you and watching you as you learn about everything and anything that interests you. I adore being your Mommy, now and forever.

I look forward to our life and continuously being awestruck by you both, my sweet Wonder Twins.

1 comment:

  1. Awww wonderful!!! They are lucky to have you for their mama!!!